The First Un-Thanksgiving Day



Posted: Friday, November 07, 2008

by
http://victoryachasegoestotherapy.blogspot.com

 The political climate has changed a lot even in my thirty years on the planet.  One of my first memories of Thanksgiving involves a pageant that the older kids at my elementary school staged.  I was in second grade; my brother in fifth.  He was so cool, so strong, so everything a 2nd grade girl could want in an older brother.  And he was the Turkey in the play, the star.  My mother spent a lot of time putting together the egg that he was to pop out of at the end of the pageant.  I think I even helped with the paper mache, she did all the work with the chicken wire to form the base.  Then the big moment came on stage where he was to pop out.  The Indians and Pilgrims were seated together, differentiated by their hats made of construction paper – complete with fake feathers and silver glitter buckles--  and he got stuck.  The egg didn't open.  Somehow the chicken wire had entwined and he was yelling inside the egg as it tipped over.  Everyone laughed, and I'm sure my mother had tears streaming down her eyes as she did whenever she was happy. When I was in fifth grade I was elated that my play was picked to be acted out for the younger kids.  This one also focused on a turkey, but with me as a pilgrim, complete with my black construction paper hat with glitter buckle, running after it with an ax (made by my mother out of cardboard and aluminum foil). I was the pilgrim set on killing the turkey for our meal, before the turkey stopped me and we talked it out, settling on a nice vegetarian meal instead.  My activism started young.

But now Thanksgiving is Un-PC, at least in the historical context.  There are no more stories of happy pilgrims and Indians joining together for a meal. History revealed to me in later years that, much like Santa and The Tooth Fairy, the fable of that first Thanksgiving meal is fed to children in the spirit of wonderment and awe and has no basis in fact.  I loved having the honor of opening up the can of cranberry sauce and watching it ooze on to the plate to jiggle as I ceremoniously carried it to the Thanksgiving table filled with a sense of duty.  I wasn't thinking of the fact that Squanto was killed, of the devastation that was wrought on the Native peoples of what is now called America, despite them also being my ancestors – killed off by other ancestors.

Now, of course, I don't have the bliss of ignorance that we so love in our children.  I acknowledge the full weight of my history and want to honor it as much as possible.  So what to do?

Have fun.  That's always a good answer.

The last party I threw for the ‘Autumn Holiday' I billed as the first un-Thanksgiving party.  No turkey was served.  I made portobello mushroom caps stuffed with salmon on a bed of fresh spring greens with couscous and a butternut squash reduction, all procured from the farmer's market.  Next to everyone's plate was a piece of paper and a pen where we were to write everything we were unthankful for.  The lists were long and filled with the usual complaints – bad bosses, recent deaths that left us hurt and confused, relationship troubles, childhoods that cost us 150USD an hour in psychiatric fees.  Some people were more personal in the things that they saw as rotten in this world – the lure of a perfect Thanksgiving as told in preschool being one of them.  Then, we taped these lists up to my Billy Blanks tae-bo punching/kicking bag and had at it.  Even the eldest in my group, a woman who was 64 in both age and pounds, beat the bag until her list fell, shredded, to the worn wooden floor of my apartment. 

Everyone left full, and with full Tupperware.  Everyone also left with their shoulders lightened a bit.  It's great to be given an opportunity to openly discuss what bothers you instead of having to play nice all the time.  Everyone left thankful for the experience, for the friendship that we had and the care that we felt for each other.  We also all left with an understanding – that even though the wonder of childhood has been broken by the reality of history, we can still form our own lives and celebrations to make something meaningful.  We can reconcile our past with the desire to gather together and have fun and companionship.

And I wish you all the same happiness and friendship for your holidays.   Have a great un-Thanksgiving!

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